Welcome back to CoPFB!
In order to fully understand someone’s financial history, I think it’s necessary to look back into that person’s life much further than when he/she began earning/spending their own money–you should look into the financial context within which that person was raised.
Doing so paints a much more vivid picture and essentially allows you to “connect the dots” when learning more about that person in the present and future.
You Want it, You Buy it
Without divulging too much about my family dynamics and history, I can sum up my financial upbringing with two phrases: ‘money was tight’ and ‘you want it, you buy it.’ My parents worked their arses off to provide the basics for us, but they couldn’t always meet the gaps between what they had and what we needed.
This was especially true when enduring the various Murphy strikes they encountered. In this post, I’ll share a story that is literally one of the most poignant examples of this and one that has stuck with me to this day.
No Happy Meal for You
It was a hot summer day in the early 1980s. During this time, my mother was a SAHM raising two young children. My father worked full-time and provided everything a 3-year old could ever imagine needing: food, a house, clothes, love, and Sesame Street. He also played in his company’s softball league and I can fondly remember those nights we went to watch him play.
That was until that night when he broke his ankle sliding into home base. While I had no idea what really was going on, I remember thinking that my mommy must be so sad because daddy was hurt.
Little did I know that my mother was silently praying to God that they’d be able to pay the bills because my father’s job required him to be on his feet and his new injury would keep him out of work for weeks.
No Money, Lots of Problems
Those weeks passed in a blur that is mostly forgotten in my memory at this point. Except for the day that I saw a commercial for McDonald’s and innocently asked my mother if we could go get a Happy Meal because I was soooo hungry. My mother had no response other than running out of the room with tears in her eyes.
My father was still laid up on the couch, and he offered a hug and said, “Maybe next time.” Being the confused 3-year old I was who had already experienced the thrill of a Happy Meal, I was openly a bit upset. I wanted a Happy Meal, and I wanted it now! Oh, the tantrums of a toddler…
Grandma to the Rescue
Later that afternoon, my grandparents stopped by and offered to take my brother & I to McDonald’s because “Grandma heard we wanted some Happy Meals!” As we piled eagerly into their car, I couldn’t help but notice my mommy standing in the window watching us.
I asked my grandma why Mommy was crying so hard and she said, “Well, sometimes mommies get sad, but she’ll be a-OK very soon.” That seemed like a good enough answer for me, so I didn’t think much more about it.
That is, until years later when my mother & I were discussing finances. She alluded to the struggles she & my father had experienced while I was growing up and I instantly remembered the Happy Meal story.
A Home Nearly Lost
I asked her about the tears she shed that day and she explained that they didn’t even have $2 to buy us a Happy Meal to split; that the checking account was overdrawn and they feared the possibility of losing their house.
It was on that day that I silently vowed never to be in such a situation myself. I promised myself that I would work as hard as humanly possible to always have the money I needed to live a good life.
Little did I know that history has an interesting way of repeating itself….
This post is part of my Confessions of a PF Blogger series. Other posts include:
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: The Series
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: No Happy Meal for You
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: $0.25 per Quart
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: 16 Candles
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: $5,500 in Cash
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: A Slow Slide into Credit Card Debt Hell
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: $1 to My Name
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: Homeless
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: Powerless
- Confessions of a PF Blogger: A Second Chance
Jen
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Wow. Crazy story but so relatable. I've been there. Thank goodness for Grandmas and Grandpas.
Funny how some things just stick in our mind. I am really liking your series so far.
Very well written. Great tribute to your parents and their financial struggle. I look forward to reading more on your blog
I am feeling for your parents. What a tough situation to be in! Such good people to insulate their kids from their money troubles as much as they could and still make you feel loved.
I thought this was really well-written. My parents had some tough times when we first immigrated to the U.S. My dad couldn't find a job for the first 5 months we work here. Now they tell me about how worried and stressful they were, and I still can't find any memories where I knew we had any troubles. It can be hard to shield kids from times like those.
Good story and great memory! I can't recall much from way back then. It's funny how things stick with you though and also how they repeat themselves. I look forward to reading more.
Thank you all for the kind feedback!@MSM: My grandparents are the best
@Niki & Babyblue: It is pretty crazy how vividly I can remember this day. It's also wild to me how I can remember the softball games–right down to the parking lot by the field and the wildflowers I ferociously picked through each time we were there.@James & No Debt: My parents really did do a great job of figuring out whatever financial obstacles they were faced with. They instilled a wonderful work ethic in all of us as well (I have three siblings total, more on that later!).@Kellen: Thank you for sharing a bit of your story!
My mom struggled a lot financially when we were growing up… my dad didn't make his child support payments all the time and she was a waitress raising 2 kids in the middle of orange county.There were often times she went without so we'd be okay… and your story really brought back some memories for me. I don't have the best relationship with my mom… but she did the best she could and for that I will be grateful. Growing up the way I did really makes me appreciative of what I have now… and a large part of it shapes the decisions my husband and I make (especially since he came from a big family and they were really frugal because they also had many mouths to feed.)
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