I’m not sure if it was wise or naive, but someone once said, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Based on the events and happenings in my life over the past two weeks, I’m beginning to think that I might be made of steel as I pull myself through all of this.
Usually, I’m all about sharing on this blog. I’ve said time and time again how I share in the hopes of inspiring, educating, and motivating others. I share the good, the bad, the ugly–and the awkward. My position in life is that everyone has problems and issues but the strong ones are those of us who are able to recognize the problem, face it head on, and come out a better version of yourself in the end.
While I’m not quite prepared to share all of the details just yet, there has been a plethora of things slamming me from every direction. From personal issues to financial issues to serious life changes, it’s all a big mess right now. But being the level-headed, optimistic person I am, I realize that I have a choice in the matter(s): I can wallow in self-pity and destruction, or I can fix what needs fixed, sell what needs sold, and get my ass in gear for making permanent, positive changes.
My Neighbors Put Duct Tape on My Brand New Car
Recently, I experienced an epic, romantic vacation with my boyfriend in Hawaii. As I showed in my photos, we had a blast gallivanting around the islands and even had a stop in Napa on the way home. I definitely spent too much on the trip, but I am thankful for such sweet memories (not to mention the amazing adventure it was!).
Unfortunately, when we returned home, I came back to a poster DUCT TAPED to my new car. Apparently, my neighbors were irritated that I parked my car for so long in front of their house (I had thought nothing of it because they have a driveway and I don’t). But I learned the hard way not to mess with the pecking order when it comes to parking my car in the area because I returned to tape residue and scratches on my brand new BMW.
Needless to say, I wasn’t pleased. The good thing is that I had previously had what I thought to be a great rapport with the father/husband of the family. It took over a week to finally connect with him about what had happened, but I finally did on Monday evening. Thankfully, he apologized, said he didn’t know who’s car it was, thought it truly was abandoned, and promised not to touch it again. I assured him that I wouldn’t be parking in front of his house for an extended period of time ever again, and I talked to my other neighbors to ensure nobody else gets angry.
Regardless, this doesn’t bode well with my ability to feel good about the neighborhood I’m living in. And little did I know that this was just the beginning of the shit storm I’m now living in…..
I Cannot Comfortably Afford My Condo Anymore
This is where things start to take a real turn South. Due to some unexpected events in the past 4 days, I no longer have the means to comfortably afford my mortgage by myself while still saving, investing for retirement, and not stretching myself to the max.
I’ve not only lost the income for half of the monthly living expenses (I’ll let you connect the dots on that one; some of you might have heard directly from me), but I’ve lost a rather large, stable contract job thanks to the latest Penguin update killing the traffic of one of the sites I work for.
Paralyzed and shocked don’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling after experiencing the one-two punch of the events of Monday and Tuesday. But as I mentioned above, I will make no other choice but to plow through it in order to become better and stronger on the other side.
While I had always toyed with the idea of renting out my place, I’ve realized over the past few months that I’m not completely comfortable with the idea of becoming a landlord. If I’m not going to rent it and I can’t justify the costs associated with living here anymore, I have only one choice and that is to sell.
Luckily the market has rebounded some and I should be able to make a small profit. At the very least, I will recoup every penny I ever spent on the place, so that makes me more comfortable with moving up my timeline. Also, I suppose it won’t be a bad thing to put all that money back into savings. I met with two realtors yesterday, and I was quite happy to see them literally salivating over the thought of getting to sell my place. It’s pretty gorgeous, if I do say so myself. 
Needless to say, expect some posts about how to sell a home popping up on here. If anyone has any advice, I’m all ears!!
Personal Issues Have Come to a Head
I think this is the biggest whopper of all of it–I’ve had a gigantic reality check from the past weekend that has finally opened my eyes that I have a serious personal issue to attend to. I am already in the process of fully understanding the ramifications of my actions, their impact on others, and my plan to move forward in a healthy way. I need to make a bit more progress before I share anything here but let’s just say it’s a doozy.
Thankfully, there are steps I’m taking to fix things, and I know that my character and sense of self is still in tact because they cannot, should not, and will not be defined by this issue. It’s something that I need to deal with and something that can be fixed; it’s not what should ever describe me as a person or be cause/justification for negative judgement from other people. I apologize for being cryptic here, but I will in time open up more in the same vein of inspiring and educating others.
Yikes!! Here's hoping things sort themselves out lickity split for you. That is great that you can sell without losing a bunch of money. All the best and all that jazz.
Thank you, Anne! This to shall pass, right??
Ooof, so sorry that it’s been so rough for you. When it rains, it pours, right?
I think it’s great that you are going to be able to bag a bit of money on the condo sale. While it might not have been your ideal time to sell, it’s good to know it’s not another significant hit.
Oh man, it's been pouring all over me! But at least I know I can make it through.
I'm happy about the financial side of things with regards to the sale–I know some might view this as an emotional decision, but I've been thinking about this for months. No time like the present!
I was wondering when I'd hear about what you were talking about on twitter. I'm so sorry about the contract work and having to sell your condo. And all the other stuff that is going on too. When it rains it pours. Right now I can understand the worry you feel about work as it's happening to me right now too…things have come to a screeching halt and now I'm looking for part-time jobs, writing gigs, anything that can help me make it through the summer and now experience what I did last year. And on top of that my friend who used me as a personal assistant (which was a guaranteed 600/month if I wanted the hours) seems to be totally flaking on me.
I hope everything comes together for you soon! Did the neighbor offer to pay for your car damages? That's total BS if he doesn't, especially after he admitted to doing it.
And about the last thing you wrote about…while it's cryptic and I don't know the circumstances, it made me think of an experience I had earlier this year where I worked with a friend and we were just totally yin and yang and the work relationship crumbled and she yelled and screamed at me and I felt like a horrible person. But time does heal things and although we vowed never to work together, after some time we have managed to stay friends. Perhaps your situation is a "this too shall pass" moment?
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Well, the part I couldn't bring myself to type in the post is that my BF unexpectedly broke up with me and moved out on Monday. Then the contract stuff on Tuesday. Then the realization that I have a big thing to fix personally on Wednesday…a crazy week indeed!
I'm really sorry to hear about your work stuff–why is it that things dry up so quickly in the summer?! And that's not good about your friend and the assistant stuff–she at least needs to communicate!!
I'm dropping the battle with my dumbass neighbor because I don't want to start a war. I was able to get most of the stuff fixed, and I'll get the rest done when I figure out the money stuff. What a bunch of asses!
I know that the issue stuff will pass, but I also know it's a scary reality to face and an uphill battle. That being said, I'm committed to changing. It's like the new chapter in becoming a better Jen. I'll eventually share more details but I need my head on straight first.
I'm so sorry to hear about the BF Jen.
If you ever need to vent feel free to send me an email. And wine…wine helps. I have so much I have to figure out too. I'm sick of this freelance roller coaster life right now. I mean when it's good it's good, but when it's not…
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Thank you…I'm reeling but pushing myself through. Such a shock but what can I do? I just hope he will talk at some point so we can figure things out–I can't fathom just throwing it all away
It's a hell of a roller coaster, eh? I hope things start to gel more for you…
Wow! It really sounds like some cray going on in your life right now. I agree that the neighbor damaging your car is total BS! Who would abandon a brand new BMW??? Hello. It's not like it was a hooptie. Have they never seen it around the neighborhood before? I bet they have. They damaged it and they should pay for it. A sorry just doesn't cut it. It's legal to park in front of their house even if they didn't like it. Sorry about the money troubles. And I do not blame you for not wanting to be a landlord. I did it and it was awful. It's no good if you don't have a good amount of extra disposable income to throw at it in case of problems. Hope things smooth their way out for you. You will bounce back. You always do.
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Oh, they definitely did! Everyone just thinks they're bitter but it's insane. And it's a public street AND they have a driveway!! ARRRGHHH…stupid people.
Yep, no landlord and I'm a bit excited about unloading the condo given the realization of the neighborhood. I guess I was just living in a bubble for the past 3 years.
Thanks for the vote of confidence–bouncing back seems to be a thing for me…
I'm really sorry that all this stuff is hitting you at once! There is nothing to do, though, but push through it – you are a strong person and you can move forward and recover.
I would suggest, though, that you not make a big decision like selling your condo when you're so emotionally upended from all these other issues. Put it off at least a few months until you have a clearer head? Maybe you can take on a short-term roommate until everything calms down and you can evaluate selling vs. renting.
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Thank you, Emily!! I'm plowing through the best I can.
I know it seems like an emotional decision, but I've been thinking about this for a while, I can't afford it even with a roommate because everything in the online world is so variable and I don't want to constantly be stressed, and it's a good time to sell with the market as it is. Given the realization of the neighbors and now not having my BF there, I can't possibly see myself living there happily
I'm so sorry to hear about all the tumultuous life events happening to you. I don't understand why it was really necessary for the neighbor to duct tape a sign, though – surely something on the window instead of the paint would have been sufficient (and really, like on the wipers would have, as well)? That's just rude and perhaps it's a blessing that you're moving out of that neighborhood. I hope the sell goes well and that you're able to make a profit – everyone seems to be buying cash and above the asking price in SD, so hopefully that's the case for you. Best wishes, as well, for all the personal issues going on, as well as finding more stable contracts. Your optimism is felt in your post, so I hope things turn out okay, if not for the better.
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I know–that's what we were saying!!! It was just ridiculous but I have to let it go so they don't do further damage.
Things are looking good for the market here–I am optimistic to say the least!
Thank you for the support
Wow, I just, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry this week has been so crazy!
I'm so confused that the neighbors would duct tape your car. Where do you normally park your car?? Is there any way that you can get him to pay for the damages to your car? That is just so crazy.
I'm glad at least that you aren't underwater on your condo and CAN sell it. That sucks so much though that you have to move out of it. Like Emily said, are you sure that selling your condo right now makes the most sense though? Isn't your boyfriend paying you rent or you could get a roommate like you were doing before?
I hope everything sorts itself out in a good manner not too far out. If you need someone to rant to, you can always email me!
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Thanks, Leigh!
I'm removing myself from the neighbor situation so they don't do anything worse….so disheartening though.
So my BF was splitting everything with me…until he unexpectedly moved out on me on Monday (couldn't bring myself to type that in the post). I never saw it coming, and I'm devastated. Needless to say, the one-two punch of Monday and Tuesday leave me with no choice.
The good thing is that I was already planning to sell and it's a great time to do so. More traffic in the summer and more motivated buyers right now–gotta use that to my advantage.
Thank you for the support–I certainly appreciate it!!!
xoxoxo. You are so inspiring. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.
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Thanks, Lady! Your gchats have been so welcomed and helpful…thanks for letting me vent it out
Sorry to hear about all this–things will look up soon enough! Your careful planning and level head will buffer through it.
Thank you, Mike! Onward and upward is the only choice I'll allow myself to make
Wow it sounds like you are handling everything that is going on really well. It's so great that you won't lose any money on your condo, maybe even make a little off it? I hope everything works out for you, even if the next little while is really tough.
Thanks, Jordann! I'm trying very hard to keep it together
So far, so good for the condo–this might be a huge blessing in disguise! It should be on the market within the next week and a half…eek!
I'm so sorry that all this is happening to you. I really relate to your story and blog posts (put yourself through school, live away from home, long distance runner, enjoys traveling, etc.) so when you posted this, I can't help but relate this to other on-goings in my life. You're an inspiration to me because of your work, professionalism and where you are today and I still look up to you and I'm so impressed you're handling everything so graciously. You will definitely look back at this and go "wow, spring 2013 was a doozy of a time for me, but damn, look at me now!". You'll pull through, remember to be thankful you have your health and a little change in your pocket.
Linsey, thank you so much! Your kind word help to bring (a somewhat crooked, forced) smile to my face–I can't tell you how much it means to have this outpouring of support from the blogging community.
Oh Jen, dear, I'm so sorry! Hugs to you!! Stay strong! Things will get better!
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Thank you, Lena! I'm working on it. Little by little, sometimes minute by minute. It's only going to make me stronger
Don't be too hard on yourself. The last time I checked we are all works in progress. A couple of months ago my mom and I had a huge blowout. She felt that I wasn't listening well, I felt that she…(we'll just leave it unsaid) Needless to say, we were both right. Look at whatever it is that you're dealing with as an opportunity. It's never comfortable to examine your own behavior. I can only echo what everyone else has said re: when it rains it pours. Remember, we are here as a support system.
Thanks for the perspective, Michelle. I keep reminding myself of what a great opportunity this is and how much better and stronger I'll be as time passes and I work on what needs work. I appreciate all of the support more than you guys know!
My week hasn't been bad. Nothing can qualify as bad after reading this. I'm really sorry things took such a gigantic dump and I know it's not my business but I really don't want you to sell your condo. I don't even know why I feel this way. I would have much rather read you intended to sell the car first before the condo. You are The Happy Homeowner after all and I really can't see you selling your condo. I know from reading all of your post that you absolutely love the place. I also know we shouldn't get emotionally attached to material things but still. All said and done, the only other thing that I hope for is if you do sell the condo is that you will be moving in with the BF(also none of my business).
After everything, I know you will rise above it all. You've never let me down and you have always been an inspiration.. ALWAYS. I know I haven't commented as much recently but I've always been reading. You will pull through this. I have faith in you and I support any decision you think is best. I'll hope for the best. If I can help in any way just let me know,
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I do love it, but I also knew I'd be selling it. As for the BF, he broke up and moved out, so I'm moving on alone unless I can get him to talk to me and see if he's willing to give us a second chance. I'm heart-broken and upset, but I have more things to work on. Better and stronger, that will be me as I work through this!
Thank you for your support–no worries about commenting–I'm the worst with them! Just you reaching out now means a lot…
Poor thing, I am sorry for this nightmare! Ugh, when it rains, it pours. I don't know what else I could say to console, because the situation is entirely $&**% but, we are here and rooting for you.
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Thank you! I'm so thankful for all of the support…
Sorry about the awful turn of events. I'm really impressed by your strong attitude though where some people would be content playing the victim. You WILL come out stronger!!!
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Thank you, Tina. I've been through enough in my life to know that victim status and whining (without action) have no place in my life. I have to face this head on, even if alone while doing so, to become the stronger, better version of myself I know I will be.
Sounds like despite all the crazy going on, you're handling things well and keeping a focus on moving forward. Just like the quote at the bottom of your post! You've got this. And good job with making adult decisions about your living expenses, sometimes choosing to sell the place you live in can be tough. Stay positive and know that something awesome is on it's way into your life!
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Thank you, Kyle! I have to keep moving forward–there's no other way!
I had a pretty bad week for other reasons (completely different than yours). I'm so sorry that happened to your car. Your neighbor sounds like a real idiot. I'd have a hard time keeping my mouth shut and not telling him so.
Sorry to hear you had a bad week, too…
There's a ton more going on, but I haven't had the courage to post about it yet. My BF unexpectedly moved out, so things are in a tailspin all over the place…ugh. The car is now the least of my worries…
If you’re certain that you are going to sell, call the police and file a vandalism complaint against the neighbor. This person needs to pay the cost of repainting your car, which will be considerable. If nothing else, filing a complaint will make it possible for you to collect on your insurance to have the car repainted.
Alternatively, if you’re speaking politely to the clown, try getting an estimate for a paint job, taking it to him, and asking if he will help pay for it. The moron should at least understand what his meanness costs. If it were me, I would have a lawyer present the bill to the jerk. You could get that done for a couple hundred bucks. There’s nothing like a lawyer’s letterhead to get a jerk’s attention.
I had something like this happen, only a great deal more colorful: the SOB neighbor, who had shown no sign of hating me or my BF, threw about three gallons of used motor oil over the back wall into the swimming pool, causing about $10,000 worth of damage. We were able to prove that it was him. We took him to court; he threatened a judge and frightened my lawyer so much that she and her senior partner urged me to sell my house and flee.
Since I had just bought the house a few months before and had put in several tens of thousands of dollars worth of upgrades, I could not afford to turn around and sell it — there was no way I could get back the money for the improvements, I couldn’t withstand the tax hit, and because of the way the city is built, there’s no place comparable to this neighborhood that’s centrally located, affordable, and moderately safe. So, despite dire predictions that my home would be trashed and my pets would be killed while I was at work, I did not move.
Nothing happened. The dust has settled and this now is a pleasant place to live. Stand firm, don’t let people push you around, and eventually things will work out.
You might want to consider getting a roommate for a short period — you don’t have to live with the person forever. You’re going to have to pay for a roof over your head anyway, unless you intend to move home with your parents. A roommate could cut your housing costs by a third to a half.
BTW, doesn’t your car have a garage? Why didn’t you park your car in it?
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Oh man….that's a horrible story!! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I'm glad to hear things are better though.
The selling piece has a lot to do with the timing of the market–it's a great time to unload, so I will move up my timeline. Honestly, this place is now broken to me without my BF here, too so that's all the more reason (on top of the car issues) to get the hell out. I stand to make a decent sized profit so I think there's a huge silver lining here.
I WISH I had a garage!!! There's nothing here for my car other than the street (we don't have a driveway). Otherwise, it totally wouldn't have been on the street. We are looking into the option for a curb cut for a driveway–I'll make more money on the sale of my place…woo!
I really enjoyed reading this post. I'm glad to hear that through all that you're going through, you're holding your head high and moving forward. I imagine taking the high road is tough in your case, but in the end, it will be worth it. Best of luck to new beginnings!
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Thank you, Lauren! I just have to keep moving forward….
You handled the duct tape incident much better than I would have. Did he at least offer to pay to touch up the paint?
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Nope! He really didn't seem to care. I park my car else where now though
I don't know if I would be as nice as you about the duct tape but you seemed to get your point across to him. Sorry to hear you are going through all of what you are going through. You sound like a strong woman who knows what she wants and will go get it. I'm sure it will all work out for you and I look forward to what you will share about all these experiences you are currently learning from. Best of luck to you mate.
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Thank you!! I figured it was best to just give up the fight with the neighbors in fear of them doing more damage. I'm optimistic and hoping that things will all work out sooner than later
Wow, that sucks all around! I'm really sorry to hear about all this. They say bad things always come in 3's, so hopefully that was it and you are all set for a little while. Bring on the good news!
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I really hope this was it! I'm strong, but I'm not sure what else I can handle right now!
Oh, Jen. I'm sorry that your life has hit a rough patch. I would be pretty furious with my neighbor. How did he confuse a brand new BMW as being abandoned? And if he truly did – I would have had it towed, rather than damage the car (which makes him liable). You have great resilience and spirit and I know that you will triumph over these temporary set-backs in no time. We're all rooting for you!
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Thank you, Shannon! I think they just were irritated about not being able to park their car in front of their house (despite having a driveway). It's this type of senseless, selfish behavior that I want nothing to do with. Hence selling my place!
Oh man, I hope things start looking up for you. You seem to have some clarity so I hope you're able to get everything figured out that you need to. Readers are always here to ''listen''. As for the car- what effing douche would do such a thing?!?!??!? I'd be getting the tape professionally cleaned and sending the bill…
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There's no way they'll pay a cent, so I'm going to take care of it myself. I've already removed most of it, and I'm going to detail everything one last time this weekend….ugh…
Thanks for the support–always appreciated!