On most Fridays, I reserve this space for my Friday Link Love posts, where I give credit to the wonderful bloggers who have written some of my favorite pieces in the past week or two. I’d like to take a detour from that path today as I’ve been thinking quite a bit about goals lately. Specifically, I’ve found myself fascinated by the various reasons we’re unable to actually reach our goals (no matter the best laid intentions we may set them with) and the excuses we give as to why we just can’t seem to make any progress.

Attack of the Bagel Sandwich

Recently I was in line (a very long line) at Dunkin Donuts, waiting to buy my BF a coffee as he gassed up outside. In front of me were two women who were lamenting their diet efforts. As one was continuing on and on about how she can’t fit into her clothes comfortably, the other was talking about a new juice fast something or other that she planned to try…next week. Then she proceeded to order a ham & cheese bagel sandwich and a large coffee frappe thing with whipped topping (I’ve never had coffee so I have no clue what she ordered…haha!).

Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE me some bagel sandwiches. In fact, it’s my preferred breakfast before a long run. I have no idea how my system has learned to handle such a disgusting pre-run meal, but I find that I actually run better if I have my (no so little) sandwich about 30 minutes before setting out. But I digress…

Saying This But Doing That

What struck me most was the clear contradiction between the woman’s complaints about her own dieting efforts and the monster order she placed for breakfast. The monster order that honestly isn’t all that healthy.

Lest you think I’m here to pass judgement on the random strangers I encounter in the morning, I’m sharing my thoughts about this because the encounter struck a cord with me: Here was a woman who clearly wanted to change her situation, who had clear ideas of what she could do to make those changes, but who, given the opportunity, pushed those changes off in lieu of immediate gratification–with the “promise” to herself and her friend that next week would be the week she gets started.

Things that make you go Hmm….

The reality is that woman is no different than me or most other people. Sure, there are a ton of us who can set and reach smaller goals, but what about the big, life-changing ones? What about ridding yourself of debt, taking control of your financial situation, buying a home, paying for an education, etc, etc, etc? How about getting in shape, running a marathon, or at the very least getting yourself off the couch consistently? What about curbing a shopping addiction, a substance abuse problem or dealing with toxic people in your life?

Why is it so hard for us to make the big, lasting changes we know will impact our lives in a profoundly healthy way? Furthermore, why do we make so many damn excuses about why we can’t do what we so desperately want (and need) to do?!

Upon further contemplation, I’ve decided there are a few traps we easily fall into when it comes to taking action if we don’t continuously work to keep moving forward. Here are some of the excuses I’ve made (as have others) that have kept me from either meeting my goals in general or have caused me to meet them much later than ever anticipated:

I’ll Get Started Next Week…

Or next month, next year; even tomorrow. Why put off what you can do today until tomorrow? Well, it’s a hell of a lot easier to rationalize that you’ll make the effort another time when you just don’t feel like doing it today. I’ve done this multiple times. Back when I was spending my way into oblivion, I usually told myself, “Next month will be better” or “As soon as I get this job or move to that apartment, things will be easier and I’ll get back on track.” When I don’t want to exercise? “I’ll run tomorrow.”

Even typing this makes me cringe because I think about all the lost opportunities my laziness, procrastination and even fear have taken away from me. If you find yourself saying something like this, stop your train of thought immediately. It’s hard to do, but you can train yourself to do so. Then get your tail in gear with taking ACTION. Baby steps or giant leaps; it doesn’t really matter as long as you’re moving forward.

I’m Tired/Stressed/Sad/Overwhelmed

Here’s a newsflash that we all need to hear periodically: Emotions happen. Imagine that! Instead of letting them control your life, take steps to be in control. If you’re feeling stressed out and want to sleep rather than exercise, consider that exercise helps you remain cool, calm and collected when life is going ape-shit and you feel out of control.

If you’re overwhelmed by your financial situation, remember that money is just a tool and it’s up to you how you use it. No matter how bad your situation might be, there is always a way out. Granted, that way out usually involves a copious amount of hard work and dedication but if you don’t think you’re worth it, nobody else will either.

I Have No Clue What I’m Doing

Back when I was riddled with credit card debt and didn’t know my credit score from my jean size, I honestly had no clue what to do about managing my finances. I stumbled upon my way in a consumerism and materialistic-filled haze for a few years before I had a cold dose of reality. Once I identified my ignorance, I took the hard steps to learn and change. Of course it wasn’t easy to do, but I had to at least try.

If you find yourself paralyzed by fear of the unknown, ignorance or apathy, as Nike would say, Just Do It. You’ll learn as you go and you’ll be stronger than ever once the changes are permanently in place.

I’d Get More Done if This, That or Those Things Hadn’t Happened

This is one of the worst excuses on the list. If you’re making an excuse about your own inaction due to some external factor, you’re sabotaging your efforts (and yourself) before you even have a chance to get going. When we forget that life is a roller coaster filled with ups, downs, challenges and triumphs, we can easily fall prey to making excuses.

Just because you have to work late doesn’t mean you can’t fit in a 10-20 minute workout (something truly is better than nothing!). When the brakes go out in your car and you’re faced with an unexpected repair bill, you can still find a way to at least pay the minimum on your credit cards for the month (especially if you have an emergency fund!). If your friend or a family member was a jerk to you because they were in a bad mood, that doesn’t mean you should skip setting your budget for the month. Do you see where I’m going with this?

I’m Not Worth It

I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone actually verbalize this thought or even admit to having it. Perhaps you don’t even realize that you’re thinking this way because it’s buried deep in your subconscious. But if you’re living in a land of financial destruction, not taking care of yourself or not making any effort to fix the things in your life that need fixing, you may need to investigate your ideas of yourself.

I know that when I was younger, I had a hard time with not rooting my self worth in the things I had and what other people thought and said about me. It took a long time to develop and become the strong woman I am today, and there was a ton of self-reflection sprinkled in along the way.

If you’re seriously wondering why you can’t reach your goals or have the things in your life that you truly want, remind yourself of the following:

• You ARE worth it
• You DO deserve to be happy
• You WILL achieve your goals if you commit to them

 

What excuses do you make when you’re not meeting your goals? Vent it out here in the comments!