The car, the house, the wardrobe. The exotic vacations, the gorgeous jewelry, the memberships to exclusive clubs.

These are just some of the riches society says you can have if you work hard enough; the rewards for years of blood, sweat, and tears spent to fulfill your career and success aspirations. If you believe it, you can achieve it. If you work your tail off, the world’s awash with luxuries and possibilities.

The thing is, I’m not “buying” it anymore

If you re-read those lists above, you might notice that they’re filled with material objects. And sure, those things are nice and would certainly allow for some pretty epic life experiences. But what about your interpersonal relationships? What about having love and compassion in your life? What about your sense of self and your dreams that entail much more than what you own?

As I work through my latest phase of personal development, I’m beginning to see ever more clearly that life is wrought with trade-offs. Some of them, such as working hard to keep up with materialistic desires in lieu of cultivating a more balanced life, I’ve certainly fallen victim to in the past. Now as I move forward, I’m taking a much different approach because I’m learning that having all of these things comes at a price I’m just not willing to pay for the rest of my life.

Having it All (as Society Defines it) is Detrimentally Stressful

We’ve all heard stories of the person who “had it all,” yet was profoundly sad or lonely or miserable (maybe all of the above!). We’ve also watched as recent opinions have flown regarding the debate about working mothers and the sacrifices they make to balance a family, be successful at work, and somehow keep their sanity. As society begins to dictate more and more that we are defined by our external success, it can be difficult to remember that the price of these achievements can often be the source of unbearable stress, confusion, and conflict.

If you’re constantly working to the point that you’re not spending quality time with your family/friends, that you’re missing the little joys in day-to-day living, and you’re literally watching your life pass you by, are you really living?

Having it All Comes with a High Price Tag

The more I hone my ability to decide what I truly want out of life and then take action to make it a reality, the more I realize that what I crave most is a full, balanced life. Yes, I do need money to pay my bills and travel because it’s a passion of mine, but I don’t need to be obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder or bringing in obscene amounts of money.

What I need is to focus on building myself from the inside out…and money can’t buy that. Money can’t buy me love, it can’t buy me friends, and it can’t buy my dreams. If I set my sights too much on money and achievement, the prices I pay might include the deterioration of my health and physical body, a lack of genuine interaction with other people, and the opportunity to miss out on the things in life that truly matter (such as good times spent with people, lazy days aimed at recharging the batteries, and relishing in the joy that is a day where there’s absolutely nothing planned).

Therefore, moving forward, I’ll be more focused on a balanced approach to wellness. My time will be spent on a variety of tasks and responsibilities that will nurture my mind, body, and soul–not just the vague, empty notion that I want “it all” in the terms society dictates.

The funny thing is, I have a feeling that I indeed will end up having it all–it’s just going to be in a way that works for what I want and the person I want to be. After all, why try to keep up with the Jones when they’re unhappy, miserable people under all that glitz and glamor?

What does “Having it All” mean to you?